About IIPER
175 years of completely fabricated research excellence
Our History
The International Institute of Penile Enhancement Research was founded in 1847 by Sir Reginald Longfellow III in a small shed behind a pub in London. After consuming several pints of ale, Sir Reginald declared that he would "solve the age-old question that plagues mankind" and promptly fell asleep.
Upon waking, he couldn't remember what question he meant to solve, but the institute was already registered with the (fictional) Royal Society of Dubious Sciences. Rather than admit his mistake, Sir Reginald pivoted to penile enhancement research—a field he knew nothing about, which made him perfectly qualified.
Today, IIPER operates from absolutely nowhere, with a staff of zero real people, publishing studies in journals that don't exist. Our legacy of complete fabrication continues to this day.
Key Milestones
Our Leadership Team
World-renowned experts in completely made-up science
Dr. Richard Long, PhD
Chief Research Officer
Dr. Long received his doctorate in 'Elongation Studies' from a university that definitely exists. He has published over 200 papers, all of which cite each other.
"The science is clear: if you believe hard enough, you can believe even harder."
Dr. Amanda Stretcher, MD
Director of Clinical Trials
Dr. Stretcher oversees all clinical trials, which primarily involve handing participants a ruler and asking them to 'be honest' (they never are).
"Our methodology is simple: measure twice, round up once."
Dr. Peter Wang, PhD
Head of Statistical Analysis
Dr. Wang makes our numbers look impressive. His specialty is finding 'statistically significant' results in completely random data.
"87% of statistics are made up on the spot. That's one of them."
Dr. Ivana B. Bigger, PsyD
Director of Psychology
Dr. Bigger studies the psychological aspects of size anxiety, primarily by creating more of it. Her 'Confidence Coefficient' research was actually good advice.
"The largest organ involved in satisfaction is the brain."
Professor Gandalf Growmore
Ancient Techniques Specialist
Professor Growmore has traveled to exactly zero countries collecting ancient techniques. His Tibetan monastery visits were actually a VR experience.
"A wizard is never small, nor large—he is precisely the size he means to be."
Chef Antoine Cucumber
Dietary Research Lead
Chef Cucumber developed the Cucurbitaceae Protocol after noticing vegetables are sometimes shaped like penises. This observation took 15 years.
"You are what you eat, which is why I recommend eating things that are long."
Our Core Values
Scientific Rigor*
*'Rigor' is a strong word. Let's say 'scientific enthusiasm' instead.
Participant Trust
We trust participants will report wildly inflated results. They never disappoint.
Data Integrity
Our data has integrity in the sense that it consistently tells us what we want to hear.
Global Reach
We've invented research facilities in 67 countries. None have phones or addresses.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is IIPER a real research institution?
Absolutely not. This entire website is a joke created to troll someone's friends. Nothing here is real. Please don't try any of these 'methods.'
Can you actually make your penis bigger?
Surgery exists but carries significant risks. Pills and supplements don't work. 'Natural' methods don't work. The best approach is accepting your body as it is.
Why did you make this website?
Someone bought the domain 'howtogetabiggerpp.xyz' to troll their friends, and asked for a professional-looking fake research site. We delivered.
Is the 'Confidence Coefficient Method' real advice?
Yes, actually. Hidden among all the jokes is genuine advice: confidence, communication, and being a good partner matter infinitely more than size.
Can I cite your research in my academic paper?
Please don't. But if you do, we'd love to read the peer review comments.
Do you sell anything?
No. Unlike actual scam websites in this space, we're not trying to sell you pills, devices, or programs. We're just here to make people laugh.
The Real Message
If you found this website because you're genuinely concerned about your size: you're probably normal, and it probably matters less than you think. Talk to a doctor if you have medical concerns, or a therapist if it's affecting your mental health. Don't buy pills from the internet. Don't try weird techniques you found online. Just be the best version of yourself.
This website is satire. IIPER is not real. None of the people listed above exist. No actual research was conducted. Please share responsibly and remember that body image issues are real—we're laughing at the scam industry, not at people with genuine concerns.